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I’ve wanted to write about my hometown for a while. I live in a small seaside town called Bridlington, in East Yorkshire.

Although i’m not a big fan of seafood (I mean I really dislike it!), I love living by the sea. I feel lucky to be able to step out of my front door and not have to travel to reach the sand. Any time, day or night, a walk by the sea instantly calms me.
I love travelling, and I have actually moved out of my hometown once. I came back, of course. The other town I lived in was lovely and quiet, and nowhere near as busy as my hometown in the Summer, but I missed it greatly. Maybe I will leave for good one day. But for now, i’ll stick where I am.

As well as adoring where I live, I love Yorkshire. Especially North Yorkshire. I hope one day to move there, and reside there for the rest of my life. It’s peaceful, picturesque, and simply perfect in my eyes.

Is there somewhere, your hometown – or somewhere else – that means a lot to you, and for any particular reason?

Change

“Don’t be afraid of change”

I detest change. I simply do not cope well with change.
I hate the fact we can’t all just have a simple, easy-going life. I don’t want change, I hate how I’ve met so many different people, but I love the people I have met, yet everything changes so that it’s hard to stay close to people.
Jobs change, people move house, I understand that’s life.
I’ve moved numerous times in the past 5 years, but I wish I could pack up everything that means something to me, and take it with me. I wish I could pack up people just like possessions.

What enables us to stay close to people, even when we’re miles apart?
I feel like I don’t have the ability to, even though I can email, call and text the person to stay in contact, I still wish I could have them in my company.

I’ve probably had three best friends in my lifetime. I’m only 23, so is that thought of as ‘good’? I often wonder if those people still think of me – as I do them. I think of my past way too much, yet I can’t help it. It doesn’t cause me any pain to think of the past, I just love the memories.

Although, then it becomes a dwelling, because I miss those times. I miss the memories. I miss the people. Even so, I can’t say now whether or not I have a best friend. I suppose my partner would be the person i’m closest to now, but I miss having that ‘best friend’. The person who knew everything about me.

How hard is it to form friendships nowadays? I believe it’s become harder. I don’t think it’s as easy as meeting someone in a cafe anymore. Times have changed, and it’s not that simple anymore. Our surroundings are almost feared. We have to be wary of everyone we meet. But why? I remember times when you could be walking to the shop in the morning to get some milk, and you’d greet three or four people during that journey, with a smile and a hello. Now, people tend to keep their heads down, usually looking into their phones for some sort of escape from the real world.

To put it bluntly, I miss old friends, I miss everything. But, i’m sure in another few years, i’ll miss this life I run now. I know I will. I’m happy, don’t get me wrong, I love my life.

I often wonder.. Does anybody else dislike change, or is it just me?

Something old, something new

I’m starting a blog!
I want to talk.

But.
There’s a big but.
I don’t want to talk.

Does anybody else suffer with the same problem?
I’m pretty sure i’m 99% introvert, let’s just call it 100%!
I’m no social butterfly.
I struggle to make friends, I prefer my own company, but at the same time, i’d love to talk, chat, laugh with somebody other than myself. Even though I say chat, I don’t mean face to face. That would make the palms of my hand sweat, and my heart thump. My heart races at the thought of crossing paths with people in the street, strangers, acquaintances, even friends. It’s so bad, I feel wary of stepping outside my front door.

I admit, I close myself off. So maybe, it is all my fault, why I am the way I am.
I feel like I can only be close to a couple of people. I panic when faced with social situations, even if that means a trip to the dentist, where I will have to talk to somebody. I hate it, I really can’t describe it as anything else.
I’ve never understood ‘anxiety’, or ‘depression’ but up until a few weeks ago, I thought nothing of them. Until I was diagnosed with mild anxiety and depression. I’ll never know why fully, but it’s not something that’s easily sorted, it’s no quick fix.

I want to leave the past behind, easier said than done I know, but maybe this blog will be the start of something new. I enjoy reading other people’s blogs, I love the emotion and thought that goes into them, they inspire me.

Please, if you relate to this in any way, let me know.
Let me know i’m not the only one!